Text 15 Jan 68 notes Ron Swanson’s best practices for libraries


When building your collections, remember:

You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of bacon and eggs, but what I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

What to avoid when designing library spaces:

Encapsulate the spirit of melancholy. Easy. Boom, a sad desk. Boom, sad wall. It’s art. Anything is anything.

Remember, every reader his or her book; you are not there to enforce your tastes:

Chris: You and I will embark in a quick session of heart-rate meditation, focusing on conscious breathing and opening the heart shakra.
Ron: I’m not sure I’m interested in that. No, I am sure, I’m not interested in that.

Avoid hyperbole in employee reviews:

Jerry’s work is often adequate.

Keep this in mind when contemplating library renovations:

I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.

Here’s all you need for awesome teen programs:

No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Here’s April and Andy’s: A hammer, a half eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans.

The only phrase you need in department meetings:

Chris, you have come up with a plan so spectacularly horrible that it might ruin the entire department.

How to get everyone’s attention at storytime:

Everyone shut up and look at me!

What your coworkers are doing instead of actual work:

I’m going to type every word I know! Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole.

Respecting privacy is paramount:

The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

  1. librarylinknj reblogged this from himissjulie and added:
    Ron Swanson, library consultant. (Parks & Recreation loves to hate libraries, hilariously.)
  2. nerdylikearockstar reblogged this from librarean
  3. often-i-have-read reblogged this from libraryjournal
  4. shrinkinglibrarian reblogged this from libraryjournal
  5. girlinsynthesis reblogged this from libraryjournal
  6. anexperimentinreading reblogged this from libraryjournal
  7. rainetoday reblogged this from libraryjournal and added:
    But… But… But… Ron Swanson has a mega-complicated and negative relationship with libraries. Don’t get me wrong: love me...
  8. librarianed reblogged this from thepinakes
  9. skokielibrary reblogged this from libraryjournal and added:
    Ron Swanson gives the best advice. If you’re looking for more of Ron Swanson’s golden wisdom we’ve got the first four...
  10. itmightbedoug reblogged this from libraryjournal
  11. eviloverlibrarian reblogged this from ipomoeaj and added:
    I’m calling this work related.
  12. fanonisbetterthancanon reblogged this from libraryjournal
  13. gloriousclio reblogged this from libraryjournal
  14. ipomoeaj reblogged this from libraryjournal
  15. libraryjournal reblogged this from thepinakes

Design crafted by Prashanth Kamalakanthan. Powered by Tumblr.